What is wrong with me?

The different Chinese Ten Year Series from my brother has been sitting on my shelf since last year. A whole year plus, doing nothing but collecting dust. Not one of its pages have been flipped open since my brother last closed it after his use. And here I am now, on the eve of the Chinese o level exam, opening its pages in a final, desperate and pathetic attempt to do some form of practice just to ease my mind for tomorrow. I had 2 weeks of Chinese Intensive lessons, ranging from 3 hours to 8 hours everyday, and I just had 2 free days to do some final preps. But did I? Heck no. The Intensive lessons helped little. All they did was to give me an illusion of my Chinese improving. It is an illusion. There is no improvement.

And the cloze passage I just finished merely proved it. 3 correct answers out of 10 questions. Impressive score really. Most impressive. Second cloze passage: 4/10. I give up. Its an O level cloze passage and these are the scores I'm getting? I seemed to do much better on the prelim papers. Yes, the papers that are supposed to be much harder than O levels. Where's the logic in that?

I knew full well the consequences of my actions, yet I paid no attention. Well congratulations reality, you win. Take the cash and go.

No point trying so hard now. Regret and anger paint today's canvas. And the next person who tells me that I deserve it is so going to have their head blasted off their shoulders. Besides, its too late to tell me that now isnt it?

Things aren't going too well for sure. I have left out so many things, even the most important
one I also left out of the equation. Its a major flop. I forgot God in my equation. I happily chose not to care too much. I loosen up right before crunch time. All in all, it was just VERY bad timing on my part. Oh well, time to catch hellfire.