Phew. After several weeks of getting stressed, not eating well, cursing my head off, procrastinating, wanting to murder people and then getting angry because I can't, the Final Year Exams are finally over. And yet, I feel a little sad. This means I'm one step closer to becoming a Sec 4, something I am sort of dreading. Also I (sadly and sorta weirdly) have become accustomed to always having something to do (say, a mountain of homework) everyday. Suddenly being thrown into a free period of time sorta unsettles me. Mainly because I sorta have forgotten how to wake up late on weekdays like today when I have no school. =P
Have I really become some workaholic that curses in the midst of the flood of work and then finds a time of peace super creepy? Perhaps. How stupid. Haha.
Well I am for one a little scared of the fact that I am almost finishing Sec 3 so quickly, especially when at the start of the year, I felt that this year was going to be very long. So much for long, now here I am out of the war with FYE, bored and tired. But the main reason why I'm scared? Cos of what's going to happen next year. O levels man.
During the last few weeks, I witnessed what the Sec 4's crazy preparations for their Os. It was mock after mock after mock and work after work after work. Study and cram like siao before prelims. Then mass lessons everyday, while going through prelim papers. Then after the Sec 4 farewell assembly (which I had absolutely no idea why we Sec 3's had to attend) they would just be cooped up at home studying, coming back for consultations and MORE mock papers and homework. At least that's how I see it from my perspective. Given how tired I am from studying, and just how annoyed I am for having to study I'm not looking forward to becoming a Sec 4.
And yes the start of 2010 will also mean even less drama for me.
But life must go on, and perhaps sooner or later I will be at the end of my Os and complaining how badly I did. Or something similar to that.
Grah I hope I don't get retained in Sec 3 though. Its far worse that becoming Sec 4.
I am also drifting very very far away from God. So much so that I no longer feel that He is there, even though He does make His presence known by helping me through my papers. I better buck up and clean up this mess. Clear out my hypocritical behaviour and profane speech. Its an ugly thing man. I'm worried that I might have already done something terribly wrong.
Question for everyone: should I drop core geography? I really stink at it right now. Give me an opinion!
