My story 2

Nothing's changed.
I'm still in a world of chaos and puzzles.
Solved? You wish.

I look up at the sky and wonder,
how long have I been on this wild goose chase?
just when, oh when will I learn to let it go?
There are so many other things to look at, to think about, to care.
So why am I still stuck on you?

I know well that when year-end comes, it will all be over.
No more chances, no more tries, no more glances
no more laughs, no more banters.
Should I try to take every remaining chance I have?
But is it worth it, to waste my time.
Fine, I'll try.
But now this is what I see :

Sure we talk, but what good is there anymore?
We speak of nothing but business.
I've lost the essence of it all.
You as well.
I've done enough, I'm through, or so I think
My determination lunges forth at the first chance, ready to strike.
But deep down I know, its not worth it, I shouldn't care.
These times, they'll fly away sooner or later. They won't last.
I still see you in the crowd, as always
I'm still standing afar, watching, waiting,
and silently cursing my stupidity.
Yet shamelessly clinging to a foolish hope, that perhaps, just perhaps
we can experience old times again.

Am I just trying too hard?
Maybe.
Grow up! Let go!
I beg myself please,
Or I'll never have my mind at ease.
Have I crossed the line? Just to impress?
Definitely. So now what?
I don't know. But I will retrace my steps,
repent and start over, if I can...

Now I'm at home and I wonder again,
my own kind is in danger.
No time to worry for this
So I'll put this down and see to the rest.
And whether I come back the same or not,
Well,
We'll see.